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Desigur, cand esti parinte si nu apuci nici sa te duci la baie sau sa mananci linistit o masa, ajutorul bunicilor iti poate fi o adevarata binecuvantare: ceva mancare gatita, putina curatenie in casa sau sa petreaca timp cu nepotii cat respiri si tu sau faci macar un dus linistita.
Si, totusi, uneori, cu toata dragostea lor si bunele intentii, bunicii reusesc sa faca si sa spuna lucruri total nepotrivite, care, pe termen lung, pot distruge ceea ce tu si partenerul incercati sa claditi pentru copiii vostri: educatia cu blandete, independenta, autonomie, parteneriat si negociere, comunicare fara pacaleli, discutii deschise cu argumente, consecinte vs. pedepse etc.

Iata, din experienta mea, doar cateva fraze la care copiii mei au fost expusi si pe care le consider grav vatamatoare:

Ca viata e nedreapta, ca de ce mi se intampla tocmai mie, ca de ce e asa greu etc… sunt ganduri pe care multe persoane le au. De ce eu? Sau X nu merita asa ceva…
Desigur, sunt multe nedreptati pe lume si nu intru acum in acest subiect, nu asta vreau sa subliniez.
In cartea “Sensul Vietii”, moderata de Mihai Morar, in una dintre conversatiile sale cu parintele Necula, acesta din urma spune ca niciodata, in toata slujirea lui de cateva zeci de ani, nu a auzit vreun copil bolnav care sa spuna “De ce eu?”. In schimb, multi parinti intreaba acest lucru…
Dar de multe ori, in viata asta, cand ceva se intampla bine – poate nesperat de bine – e corect sa fim recunoscatori si sa ne bucuram ca primim de multe ori nu ceea ce meritam, ci ceva mult mai bun.
A avea familie, a avea copiii sanatosi, a fi noi insine bine si intregi sunt lucruri luate for granted de prea multe ori.
Sa ne concentram, propun, pe a vedea tot binele care ne vine in anumite momente si care nu musai ni se cuvine, si sa fim tari cand e greu. Pentru ca mereu se poate mai rau, mereu e cineva care sufera mai mult decat noi sau pe care il putem ajuta.

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